Last week, my friend THR and I were bored and started cruising the online personals ads for entertainment. There were some pretty interesting ones and some people were wayyyy out there. But that got us wondering, would people respond to an ad even if it was as realistically asshatty as we could make it?
Of course we tried it. Wouldn't you? When you come up with an idea this brilliant, the only thing to do after that is to make it happen. Luckily, THR happens to be a guy, and I happen to be a girl so we could go at this from both points of view. As we were doing this, Scotty pointed out that in order for us to do this we'd also have to write serious ones. First of course, we wrote the fun ones:
Mine:
Lets face it, it's hard to find quality guys out there and that's why I've decided to try my luck on craigslist. But that doesn't mean I'm reducing my standards. I'm a hot girl and I feel that the right guy is out there for me. Are you him? Here are some of the ways you can be sure that you're the right man for me:
You need to be hot. I can't date anyone that is a 6 or below. You know who you are.
You can't be dumb or boring. If you were holding a conversation with yourself right now, would you be bored? If so, don't contact me.
Being in a band totally helps. You must love going out and having a good time, and it's important that you have enough money to be able to do that. No money? Don't bother.
I like to be treated like a princess, and I want to be clear, no present is too big but many are too small. The only exceptions come in tiffany-blue jewelry boxes.
Think you can handle me?
and THR's:
I'm a 22 year old student currently living in Denver. I've always felt that the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach. The woman of my dreams will be able to sweep me off my feet through her prowess in the kitchen. Don't worry though I don't expect you to spend all your time in the kitchen. I'm fun and always looking for adventure. We won't have to spend much time at home, other than for the delicious meals you will cook. Some day I'll make a lot of money too and will be able to afford you the finer things in life. So, you will definitely be getting something in return. Of course money isn't everything and I certainly want to find someone that I can talk to and have a good relationship with as well. I have decent looks and a good sense of humor. Please contact me if you are interested in going out sometime.
P.S. - Must like beer.
The genuine ones were a little more difficult to write. I can't imagine how difficult it would be if you were actually looking for someone online, but in the end we prevailed:
Mine:
Dear Men on Craigslist,
Writing these things sucks, how do you phrase everything you are and everything you're looking for in something a few sentences long?
I'm a fun, easygoing, and fairly attractive girl looking for a guy who can make me laugh. I want someone who loves being outdoors, and who can keep up his side of the conversation, and most of all doesn't take himself too seriously
If I sound like your kind of girl let me know
and of course, THR's:
Hey everyone. I'm currently a student studying to get my master's degree. I love music, hanging out with my friends, the occasional meander and just having lots and lots of fun. I'd like to think I'm pretty laid back and easy going. I am looking for someone that can have a good time going out in Lodo or just staying in drinking a beer and talking all night. I'd like to take things slow at first and then get more serious if we have a connection. If this sounds like you let's get together and hang out sometime.
Our hypothesis was that the nice ones were bound to get more replies, after all why would ANYONE want to get back to the asshats (new fav word) we were pretending to be?? The results, were not only awesome but also hilarious! But you won't get to find out what they are till next week... :) So Stay Tuned!!!!!
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